Category Archives:Child custody
How to Interview a Divorce Lawyer – Part II
In Part I of this article, I discussed some questions to ask a lawyer at an initial consultation. Those questions related to the law and how it applies to the facts of your case.
This second part of the article deals with the other questions to be asked. Those questions relate to the lawyer’s credentials and the kind of attorney/client relationship you can expect to have with the lawyer.
Specifically, you want to find out the following:
- The lawyer’s experience in the area of family law
- Whether and how support staff and other lawyers may be involved in your case
How to Interview a Divorce Lawyer – Part I
Finding an experienced family attorney with whom you “click” dramatically improves your prospects for achieving your divorce goals.
With the possible exception of your current spouse, let’s assume you are a good judge of people. Let’s further assume that you’ve read a blog or 2 on how to choose a divorce lawyer. Finally, let’s assume you’ve listened to your friends bitch endlessly about their lawyers.
All of that should enable you to choose a lawyer for yourself, right?
Not quite.
You need to ask two kinds of questions at an initial interview with a divorce lawyer:
PR Release
“Divorce, Simply Stated,” Award-Winning Lawyer/Filmmaker’s New Book, Provides Advice to Reduce Burdens of Divorce
Veteran divorce attorney Larry Sarezky’s new divorce “how-to” book provides rarely discussed strategies for easing the financial and emotional burdens of divorce. Includes tips on controlling legal expenses, reducing anxiety, and avoiding the most damaging divorce mistakes.
Veteran divorce lawyer and mediator Larry Sarezky has announced the release of his new book, “Divorce, Simply Stated.” It’s a unique “how-to” book of divorce basics supplemented with rarely discussed techniques for achieving more, worrying less and saving money in divorce and other family court cases.
Use Empathy to Help Settle Your Divorce Case
Larry Sarezky, Esq.
“What the world needs now is love sweet love,
It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of.”
– Burt Bacharach / Hal David
Not to nitpick, but love isn’t the only thing the world has too little of. Empathy, a key component of emotional intelligence, is also in short supply. And empathy is particularly important during divorce where run-away emotions can delay what you and your children need most: a speedy and fair resolution of all issues.
Divorce Parenting No-No’s
Parenting during divorce poses unique and difficult challenges for even the most well intentioned mothers and fathers. Many parents find themselves preoccupied if not overwhelmed by the divorce and all the emotions and uncertainties that accompany it. As a result, these parents become less able to attend to the needs of their children who need them more than ever during this turbulent time.
As a conscientious divorcing parent, you can serve the interests of your children by avoiding the following mistakes commonly made during divorce. But even if you do have a bad moment (it’s okay, nearly everyone does), use the experience to strengthen your resolve to not let it happen again.
The Parenting Goal Statement: 12 Steps Toward Productive Co-Parenting During and After Divorce
Divorcing parents promote their children’s well-being by retooling their co-parenting relationship early in the divorce process. Adding new ground rules to old shared values redirects parents’ focus from their own conflict to the children’s needs. It also creates momentum for a long-term parenting plan and a co-parenting relationship that produces healthier children.
Here are a dozen Parenting Goal Statement staples:
➢ We will shield our children from our conflict.
➢ We will not use our children as messengers or confidants.
➢ We will not put our children in the position of “choosing sides.”
Custody Battles: A Perfect Storm of Harmful Outcomes for Children
We know that custody battles are bad for children. The reason seems obvious enough: Prolonged high levels of parental conflict are toxic to children.
But there may be more to it than that. I believe that custody battles are so damaging because they deprive children of the very things they need most during divorce.
A “Top 4 List” of children’s needs during divorce would read something like this:
-
- An end to their parents’ fighting
- An end to uncertainty about where and with whom they will be living
- A return to some degree of normalcy in their lives
Child Custody Myth #1: “Children benefit when parents ‘insulate’ them from the divorce.”
This is the first of eight child custody myths articulated by parents David and Laura Sherwood in the film Talk to Strangers.
“We do a pretty good job of insulating our kids,” Laura asserts two minutes into the film. Later on, we see Laura make good on that commitment: “You know we don’t talk to you kids about the case!” she declares, cutting off a conversation with her daughter Emily.
Like each of the 8 myths presented in Talk to Strangers, this one sounds reasonable enough… until we view it from the children’s perspective. Consider, for example, Emily’s dismay when she learns that not only can’t she discuss custody issues with her parents, but she won’t be allowed to voice her preferences to the judge either.
Why YOU, not a Judge, Should Resolve Child-Related Dispute
Most parents continue to co-parent their children after divorce. Absent circumstances where children are at risk, parents have the responsibility to put the their children first by working out a parenting plan that is in the children’s interests.
If you are unable to resolve children’s issues with your co-parent, a judge will. There are a number of reasons to avoid that:
➢ The custody evaluation process can humiliate, frighten and compromise your children, and cause them enduring emotional harm.
Ten Questions to Ask Before Fighting Over the Kids
My worst nightmare as a divorce lawyer is that thousands of children are growing up wondering why the “grown-ups” didn’t protect them from their parents’ high conflict divorces. That’s why I produced Talk to Strangers. But long before that, I put together ten questions to ask any of my clients who were considering a custody battle.If it’s your co-parent who seems intent on fighting over the kids, see if he or she has answers for the following:
1. Do you want your children to endure months of anxiety and uncertainty as to where they will be living and whether they will have the relationship they want with each of their parents and their siblings?
