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Tag Archives: children of divorce

The Parenting Goal Statement: 12 Steps Toward Productive Co-Parenting During and After Divorce

Divorcing parents promote their children’s well-being by retooling their co-parenting relationship early in the divorce process. Adding new ground rules to old shared values redirects parents’ focus from their own conflict to the children’s needs. It also creates momentum for a long-term parenting plan and a co-parenting relationship that produces healthier children.

Here are a dozen Parenting Goal Statement staples:

➢ We will shield our children from our conflict.

➢ We will not use our children as messengers or confidants.

➢ We will not put our children in the position of “choosing sides.”

Child Custody Myth #1: “Children benefit when parents ‘insulate’ them from the divorce.”

This is the first of eight child custody myths articulated by parents David and Laura Sherwood in the film Talk to Strangers.

“We do a pretty good job of insulating our kids,” Laura asserts two minutes into the film.  Later on, we see Laura make good on that commitment:  “You know we don’t talk to you kids about the case!” she declares, cutting off a conversation with her daughter Emily.

Like each of the 8 myths presented in Talk to Strangers, this one sounds reasonable enough… until we view it from the children’s perspective.  Consider, for example, Emily’s dismay when she learns that not only can’t she discuss custody issues with her parents, but she won’t be allowed to voice her preferences to the judge either.

Why YOU, not a Judge, Should Resolve Child-Related Dispute

slide1Most parents continue to co-parent their children after divorce. Absent circumstances where children are at risk, parents have the responsibility to put the their children first by working out a parenting plan that is in the children’s interests.

If you are unable to resolve children’s issues with your co-parent, a judge will. There are a number of reasons to avoid that:

➢ The custody evaluation process can humiliate, frighten and compromise your children, and cause them enduring emotional harm.