March 29, 2016

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“Divorce, Simply Stated,” Award-Winning Lawyer/Filmmaker’s New Book, Provides Advice to Reduce Burdens of Divorce

Veteran divorce attorney Larry Sarezky’s new divorce “how-to” book provides rarely discussed strategies for easing the financial and emotional burdens of divorce. Includes tips on controlling legal expenses, reducing anxiety, and avoiding the most damaging divorce mistakes.

Veteran divorce lawyer and mediator Larry Sarezky has announced the release of his new book, “Divorce, Simply Stated.” It’s a unique “how-to” book of divorce basics supplemented with rarely discussed techniques for achieving more, worrying less and saving money in divorce and other family court cases.

Referred to as “simply the best book of its kind” by American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers past president Arthur Balbirer, “Divorce, Simply Stated” explains principles of divorce law, procedure, and finance in an unusually clear and conversational manner. The book also focuses on how to select, afford, and work with the most appropriate divorce professionals for each individual case. In addition, there’s practical advice for divorcing spouses on caring for themselves and their children during divorce, and avoiding the dysfunctional conflict encouraged by our courts’ adversary system.

Sarezky is a past Chair of the Connecticut Bar Association’s Family Law Section whose clients have included Fortune 500 CEO’s, MLB Hall of Famers, and Oscar, Grammy, and Emmy winners. He has lectured to lawyers, judges, and therapists throughout the U.S., and his legal commentaries have appeared in The Huffington Post and numerous other publications.

In recent years, Sarezky has made a second career of reducing the financial and emotional burdens of divorce, especially for parents and children.

“I wanted to offer more than the standard divorce how-to book but at the same time, not drown readers in more information than they need,” says Sarezky. “At this point in my career, I felt the need to share the strategies that have helped my clients achieve their goals and avoid the mistakes that plague too many divorcing spouses.”

To that end, the book includes unique features such as a chapter called “Divorce Pearls & Perils: Secrets of Saving Money and Avoiding Mistakes” and another on “Divorce Fact-Checking,” which debunks divorce myths that Sarezky has seen prevent divorcing spouses from achieving their goals.

Saving money is a major theme of “Divorce, Simply Stated.” Not shy about poking fun at his colleagues—or sharing their secrets—Sarezky explains lawyers’ billing practices and how to avoid huge legal bills that compound — rather than solve — clients’ problems. He also discusses additional opportunities for savings, including taking advantage of special divorce tax rules and a “be-your-own-paralegal” strategy for readers to organize their own cases much the way trial lawyers do.

“The nuggets in the chapter on ‘Divorce Pearls and Perils’ alone will save you thousands of dollars — and your sanity!” says California attorney Terry McNiff, author of “Picture Your Divorce to See The Right Decisions.” Adds Joanie Winberg, CEO of The National Association of Divorce for Women and Children, “This book is a masterpiece! Only Larry Sarezky could have written a book with all the divorce essentials plus priceless strategies not found anywhere else.”

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Further distinguishing “Divorce, Simply Stated” from other books on the subject are a multitude of tips from a divorce insider on maximizing results while minimizing acrimony, touches of humor, and a holistic approach to help readers cope, organize, relax, and even sleep better. To all of this, Sarezky adds personal touches like the illustrations by his 9-year-old granddaughter designed to keep separating parents focused on their children’s real needs as they move through and beyond divorce. To learn more about “Divorce, Simply Stated,” visit
www.DivorceSimplyStated.com.

Sarezky’s other efforts to ease the burdens of divorce include his nationally acclaimed Telly Award-winning custody film, “Talk To Strangers.” The 25-minute dramatic film is in use throughout the U.S. and abroad to dissuade parents from pursuing unnecessary custody and other child-related litigation. It is accompanied by a guide to help separating parents co-parent productively.

“Watch it and learn!” declares Harvard’s Alan Dershowitz about the film, which was created to “bring parents to their senses.” “Both the film and the pocket guide are wonderful!” adds Dr. Robin Deutsch, a past president of The Association of Family and Conciliation Courts. “The voices of the children speak louder than any educational program…” Details about the film can be found at www.ChildCustodyFilm.com.

Coming soon from Sarezky is yet another aid to better divorce, “Become Your Own Star Witness,” an audiobook on testifying in family court. Applying his extensive courtroom experience, Sarezky explains and illustrates with numerous question and answer examples, the rules and tactics family court litigants can use to improve their case results. “Become Your Own Star Witness,” is scheduled for release in May. More information can be found at www.WitnessTutor.com.

Larry Sarezky, Esq.

“What the world needs now is love sweet love,
It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of.”
– Burt Bacharach / Hal David

Not to nitpick, but love isn’t the only thing the world has too little of. Empathy, a key component of emotional intelligence, is also in short supply. And empathy is particularly important during divorce where run-away emotions can delay what you and your children need most: a speedy and fair resolution of all issues.

Spouses who use empathy to understand and identify with each other’s emotions and attitudes have the upper hand in settling their cases. Borrowing from another lyric, if you can “walk a mile in [your spouse’s] shoes,” you’re likely to reach “yes” that much quicker, easier and cheaper. Try to experience emotions and attitudes such as anxiety or entitlement that your spouse might be feeling about certain issues. The insights you gain can be of great help in resolving issues in dispute.

Let’s say your children will be living principally with you. Recognize that your spouse may be afraid that his/her time and relationship with the children will be unreasonably limited. First, tie into your own emotions. Imagine how you would feel as the “out-parent” worried about missing too much of your kids growing up. Don’t just think about it; try to feel it. Then use the insight you gain to address your co-parent’s concern without compromising the children’s interests. In this example, you might suggest a settlement agreement provision giving your co-parent a “right of first refusal” (ahead of third-party caretakers) to have the children if you become unexpectedly unavailable. Or suggest “virtual visitation” via Facetime, Skype, etc. to supplement actual time.

Similarly, if you are the primary earner in your family, anxiety over financial security may cause your spouse to demand an unreasonably large amount of spousal support. Understanding and feeling that anxiety by thinking about one of your own big worries will help you avoid over-reacting to that demand. And the insight you gain can help you come up with ways to reduce your co-parent’s anxiety. For example, a spouse’s focus on long-term financial security might mean that he/she would accept a smaller support amount for a longer period. Or, if your spouse is more concerned about covering expenses in the short-term, a larger amount for a shorter period may do the trick.

What your world needs now is for you and your spouse to understand and respect each other’s needs and fears, and to use that knowledge and sentiment to move quickly toward a fair resolution of the issues in your divorce.

This article is based on material in Larry Sarezky’s new book
Divorce, Simply Stated available at www.DivorceSimplyStated.com
Learn how to keep children off the custody battlefield with Talk to Strangers, the Telly-Award winning short film and accompanying parents’ guide available at www.ChildCustodyFilm.com
© Laurence Sarezky 2016